Hate Makes the World Go Round

Let’s be honest – it’s hatred not love that makes the world go round. Hate gives rise to terrorism, violence, racism, and bullying. It’s hate at the root of greed and anger, hostility, and abuse. Hatred divides and gives birth to most of the problems in the world.

What is this overpowering, malignant force? According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, hate is “intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury.”

Sources of Hatred 

Fear. Safety and security are in jeopardy. Think economic collapse, terrorism or failing health.

Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear. Bertrand Russell

Anger. Value is demeaned, belief system threatened. Think insult, ridicule, liberal vs. conservative.

Debate and dialogue is taking a back seat to the politics of destruction and anger and control. Dogma has replaced thoughtful discussion between people of differing views. James McGreevey

Injury. Physical harm has been inflicted. Think violence, torture, physical abuse to self, others, animals.

Pursuit of the ability to manipulate and control now produces only violence and destruction. Gary Zukav

Thanks to the media, fear, anger and injury are all around us. One would think that the world is fast imploding with violence and hatred. But according to Steven Pinker’s masterpiece The Better Angels of Our Nature: Why Violence Has Declined, “violence has actually been in decline over long stretches of history, and today we may be living in the most peaceable era in our species’ existence.”

That is not to deny that there are horrendous acts of violence taking place every day. But when it is fed to us across every media channel, it builds fear and fear can spark irrational hatred.

Why Such Focus on Fear and Violence?

Fear is a powerful force of manipulation. This from The Power of Fear:

Fear is instilled in us at an early age and infects our perceptions throughout our lives. We are taught to be afraid of crime, afraid of losing our jobs, afraid of AIDS, afraid of immigrants, afraid of the Russians (or the Moslems), afraid of terrorism, afraid of chaos, afraid of failure, afraid of not being loved, afraid of going to hell. All these apprehensions are seized on and magnified by the media, the government, the corporations and the Church, whipping us into a frenzy of fear.

Our fears control us, dominate our thoughts and poison our emotions. When we are afraid, we are weak and obedient. When we are afraid, we will do anything, believe anything, submit to anything or anyone to feel safe.

When we are afraid, we give up not just our power, but our humanity. We see others through the lens of hatred not realizing that it is ourselves we demean. Thinking we are right puts us in instant, automatic opposition to anyone who does not agree with us. We see the other side as the bad guy, not realizing that the other side sees us as the same way.

Fear is the most debilitating emotion in the world, and it can keep you from ever truly knowing yourself and others…its adverse effects can no longer be overlooked or underestimated. Fear breeds hatred, and hatred has the power to destroy everything in its path. Kevyn Aucoin

And destroy us, it will. With our rapidly growing population, we must learn to co-exist peacefully. The solution to many of the world’s problems has long been obvious: Nutrition and education. There would be a significant decrease in war, environment and social problems if some of the money that goes into defense spending were diverted into providing basic nutrition and education.

Education is a lifelong responsibility. We must educate ourselves on the issues. We must stop believing everything we hear or see in the news. We must demand real news, true facts. One fact that is surely obvious after all this time….

War has not solved the problem of radical terrorism

Understand The Psychology of Terrorism: Why Normal People Become Deluded Murderers. 

Learn about the positive contributions of Muslims and a concise explanation of the causes of terrorism in…

The Lost History of Muslim Geniuses and the Truth About Terrorism

And most of all, we must learn about ourselves and ever strive to learn and grow. If we do not rise above them, fear and hatred will destroy us individually and collectively.

Is it not time to listen to the better angels of our nature?

If You’re Honest, You’ll Admit To Feeling This

Who do you hate? Before you deny harboring that ugly emotion, think of it this way… Who do you intensely dislike, loathe, disdain, abhor? Still don’t relate? How do you feel about terrorists, rapists, child molesters, and murderers? Adolf Hitler? Osama bin Laden? Donald Trump? Hillary Clinton? If you’re honest and you’re human, you will admit that you have felt hatred. Rather than deny it, our goal should be to overcome it. And to do that, we need to understand the roots of hatred.

 Why do we hate?

1. Fear – The fear we have of people/place-Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves.-Carl Jung1 (1)s/situations that have the power to hurt us gives rise to hatred. It is a natural reaction to feeling threatened, subject to someone or something beyond our control. Terrorists. The boss. The government. Police. Parents. Partners. Fear breeds resentment and contempt.

2. Anger – is both a cause and effect of hate. When children don’t get their way, they frequently yell, “I hate you.” As adults, we may not use the word, but the venom and attack in anger is hatred. We all have these momentary lapses of equanimity even with loved ones. Ideally, they pass quickly. Sustained anger is a breeding ground for deep-seated hatred. -Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves.-Carl Jung1 (3)

3. Jealousy and Envy – come from insecurity, resentment and covetousness. Behind them is the hateful desire to see another fail.

4. Intolerance – We tend to fear what we don’t understand. That can lead to discrimination and bigotry.  Close minded people reject those who are significantly different from them as well as those who do not share their opinions and beliefs. The more fanatical one is, the greater the potential hatred for the opposition.

5. Prejudice – We pre-judge according to biases we were raised with and base our opinions on stereotypes. We mimic the beliefs and prejudices of our parents, teachers, religion and culture.

You’ve got to be taught
To hate and fear,
You’ve got to be taught
From year to year,
It’s got to be drummed
In your dear little ear
You’ve got to be carefully taught.

You’ve got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
And people whose skin is a diff’rent shade,
You’ve got to be carefully taught.

You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate,
You’ve got to be carefully taught!*

*You’ve Got to be Carefully Taught Rogers and Hammerstein

6. Low self-esteem –  Overly critical people imagine they look better by making others look worse.  They try to bolster a fragile self-ima-Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves.-Carl Jung1ge by looking on others with disdain. 

7. Projection – We deny our unwanted thoughts, emotions and faults, and project them onto others. We blame external causes for our unhappiness and problems.

8. Mood – Whether we like or dislike a person is influenced by our emotions, the moo-Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves.-Carl Jung1 (4)d we’re in at any given moment. We look through tainted glasses when in a negative state of mind. 

9. Group Influence –  We are easily influenced by friends, family, society, the media. We tend to pick up and share the same attitude as those we most identify with. When opinions are shaped by peer groups or gossip, a collective like or dislike arises.

10. Unconscious – We are all a unique combination of memories, primitive instincts, values and judgments that lead us to say of someone: “I liked her immediately” or “Didn’t trust him from the minute I laid eyes.” We let automatic reactions determine our thoughts and feelings.

Your hateful feelings are hurting you!

rage-1015611_640

Hatred is in the mind. We think we hate a person or event, but we actually hate the feelings they arouse in us. In projecting the hate onto them, we imagine that the problem is ‘out there’ rather than in our mind. That nurtures and sustains the hate, and negates the ability to change it.

We alone are responsible for and in control of our thoughts and feelings. And we are the ones who suffer the toxic effects of hatred.

Who would send messages of hatred and attack if he but understood he sends them to himself?
A Course in Miracles Text-19.IV

Hatred is a destructive emotion. It eats away at people and relationships. It poisons the atmosphere and spawns hateful acts. We can condemn and seek to correct the despicable things that happen in the world without feeling hatred. Hatred closes the mind and bars the path to constructive action. 

Denying our negative emotions pushes them into the unconscious where they grow stronger and have detrimental effects. Acknowledging them is the path to self-knowledge and healing. Observe your emotions. Where are they coming from? What are they based on?

BookCoverImageFrom Healing Feelings: Feelings don’t arise out of nowhere. They are thoughts that reached a vibratory level strong enough to be felt. They signal what is going on in the mind….Fearful thoughts contract the energy field blocking the full, free flow of energy causing painful physical and emotional feelings.

If we don’t practice awareness and exert our power of choice, our lives run on automatic pilot. Our strongest thoughts dictate our perceptions, fire emotions and design our experience. We will repeat the same patterns over and over and claim we have no power over them. But we do…Freedom lies in choosing. Growth comes from choosing anew. 

There are multiple triggers of hatred. The trigger is not the problem. The problem is that in our dualistic nature, hatred is one of many threads of human nature. We are all capable of feeling it, and we are also capable of choosing against it.

Don’t hate, it’s too big a burden to bear.  Martin Luther King

Jealousy: Poison to You & Your Relationships

Did you ever try to pet one dog when another is in the same room? Dog #2 runs over, tries to push Dog #1 out of the way, capture your attention and guide your hands onto his furry coat. The second dog sees the first dog as having what he wants and tries to take it away. That’s jealousy. It’s a natural instinct in human beings as well as animals.

stick-309861_640Jealousy makes us respond like Dog #2. We resent people who take attention away from us. We try to push them out of  the way and recapture what we think is or should be ours.  In a family, jealousy often occurs when one sibling receives more attention than another. In a couple, when one partner exhibits interest in someone or something else. I once had a boyfriend who was jealous of my affection for my dog. In the workplace, jealousy rears its head when someone else receives more approval than we do, or a promotion that we think should be ours. In business, we might feel jealous of a competitor who has more customers.

We’ve all experienced jealousy at one time or another. It is a dangerous brew of fear, insecurity and inferiority that  sparks feelings of anger, resentment and hatred. Jealousy is a destructive emotion and leads to destructive actions. We’ve all heard about murders committed by people in a jealous rage. Jealousy can also be deadly to the person experiencing it, leading to suicide. “The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.” William Penn

Jealousy is inevitable when self-worth, security and happiness depend on someone or something outside ourselves. It resonates painful feelings of failure and insufficiency. We imagine all will be well if we can only fix the outside picture, but the inside causes remain.

Jealousy is more likely to destroy a relationship than preserve it. It makes people suspicious, possessive, demanding and controlling, the very things that drive others away.

Jealousy and envy are frequently confused. While they often go hand in hand, jealousy involves 3 parties, and envy involves 2.

love-triangle-494178_640
Jealous Triangle

Jealousy: A third party, a rival, is competing for, stealing something that is or should be mine.

Envy: I want what another has.

We’ll look at envy next time. In the meantime, find suggestions for dealing with jealousy.