The End of the Road

As you may know from a previous blog, my husband and I have been traveling extensively for the 22 years of our marriage. During the last 6 and 1/2, we have been nomads – no home, no car. This year I had planned a 5 and 1/2 month trip to and around Europe. Two weeks before we left, we learned that my husband has bone cancer.

Ron looked good and felt good – aside from increasing pain which he attributed to arthritis. We optimistically believed we had many good months ahead and proceeded with our trip. Sadly, our optimism was not warranted. Ron began to decline soon after we boarded the ship for the transatlantic crossing. Upon arriving in Europe, he struggled through a painful, debilitating 3 weeks before conceding that we had to fly back to the U.S. After one week in the hospital, he was admitted to hospice. And now we wait.

Lingering in the shadow of death with a loved one, everything that is unimportant is stripped away. You soon realize that the vast, vast, vast majority of what we think and do and give our attention to is unimportant.

Life as we know it is a fleeting image. As Buddha said, “A lifetime is like a flash of lightning in the sky.” What are you doing with the miniscule amount of time you have on this earth? What are you thinking, worrying or dreaming about? Who are you spending time with? Who are you loving, forgiving, resenting, praising or complaining about? How are you treating your family, your friends, your co-workers, strangers? How are you treating your body? Are the words you speak kind or cutting?

If everything you think and say and do is not an expression of love, then it is unimportant. It a waste of time. It is meaningless. You may be successful, even rich and famous. But if you do not do what you do with love, all the money and success in the world will not bring happiness, fulfillment or peace.

Though we bandy the word love about, Love is actually too big to comprehend. Personal love is often tainted by neediness, expectation, and dependency. Impersonal love is a shower of light that shines on everything and everyone.

If you could see the ugliest leper with the eyes of Love,
His beauty would out-dazzle in your eyes the starlit sea.

If one drop of the Wine of Vision could rinse your eyes,

Wherever you looked, you would weep with wonder.
Rumi

Impersonal love recognizes the unity of life. It has no boundaries, no conditions. Perhaps the closest we come to love in this world is forgiveness, gratitude, patience, kindness, compassion. Oh, that those characteristics would be our goals. Not the perfect body or the ideal mate or the rich bank account. All that is impermanent, meaningless in the end…

Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:14

My husband says he loves me now more than ever. In the end, everything else dissolves. Only love remains. The love we have been showered with at this time is overwhelming; far beyond what I could have imagined. I am humbled. My ego says, “I cannot possibly be worthy of this.” But I realize that is the ego’s way of making us shut down and reject love. And so I pray to keep my heart open that the love flowing to me flows through me. I pray to remember and live my life by the knowledge that…

At the end of the road, nothing matters but love. SaveSave

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30 thoughts on “The End of the Road”

  1. Oh, my dear friend, I am at a loss for words. Your open heart and the love you have with Ron will help you thru this difficult time. Cherish every moment and know my thoughts and prayers are with you.

  2. Dear Sister Geri — so sorry to hear about the sad situation you and Ron are experiencing in your lives. Thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult time for you both. Would it be OK for me to share this with our other sisters?
    Love to you and Ron, Joan Pondolfino

  3. Gerry,
    I am sorry to hear the news about what has disrupted your husband’s health and wellness. If anything can heal his situation, it will the intense love and respect you both have for each other as well as concerted prayers from family and friends.
    This is a precious time and know that you both are surrounded with love.
    I am here for you.

    Love, Donna

  4. Dear Geri,
    I am so very saddened to hear of Ron’s condition. Having lost my husband three years ago this month, I understand some of what you are both experiencing.
    Please know that you are in my thoughts .
    Your beautiful message is just so true -in the end there is love and for that there is no end .

  5. Dearest Geri,
    I cannot find my words to express the sadness I feel about what is happening to you and Ron. My heart is aching for you. You as a couple have touched so many lives by your positive energy and love of life. Time on this earth is fleeting and swift. Both of you spent the best part of your years together doing what you love- travel and interacting with people. Spend time reminiscing about the good times and bad times you’ve shared.
    Affirm and celebrate what you have created or built together.
    Talk openly about what you mean to each other. George and I are here to support you in any way we possibly can, if you need us. Daily prayers and thoughts are headed your way. Where are you now? Please call if you want to talk and need a friend to listen. Love and lightness to you and Ron. Love always yours,
    Jeannette and George

    1. Thank you, Jeannette. Your loving words mean so much to us. Ron and I have always so enjoyed the time we’ve spent with you and George. We are back in Boca Raton where we lived for so many years and our doctor is here.

  6. Dear Geri and Ron,
    Cancer sneaks up on you and bites you like a snake. You don’t ever expect it to happen, when it does. Cruel and mean it is.
    I wish there was a cancer center doing clinical trials somewhere that could help. I know how Neil stood by my side last year knowing how he was hurting in a different way than me. But I knew it was love just like you. Meeting you and Ron last year I could see how much in love you were.
    It breaks my heart to hear this.
    Hugs to both of you.

  7. Dearest Geri!

    The words you write are simply beautiful. My prayers are with you and your family at this most trying time. You have inspired me, enlightened me, and invigorated me to be a better person. Thank you for touching my life as you have in this short time. May you continue to share your wealth of knowledge which is a beautiful gift, and continue to touch the souls as you have done with me. Thank you again!

  8. Oh Geri, I am so sad to hear about Ron. I am praying for you both. Love is what you have been teaching for decades and now you are truly surrounded by it. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  9. Geri
    May your last times together be cherished and sweet.
    Your words are inspiring and a gift to us all
    You will in my thoughts during this journey
    Peace

    “Max”
    Judith Evans-Gallagher

  10. Geri…so very saddened to hear about what you and Ron are going through. Your beautiful spirit is an inspiration to us all…thank you. I pray your remaining time together is blessed with love….Sending you prayers and love…

  11. Dear Geri,
    The bridge that we all one day must cross touches both departure and arrival points. It is buttressed by your love for each other.

    I am still sad for you and what you are facing. Prayers for your strength and courage.

    JoAnn

  12. Geri, in the words of James Joyce ‘they lived and laughed and loved and left’. My thoughts are with you and I wanted to let you know that I wish you strength and comfort in the days ahead. Nancy

  13. Geri,

    What beautiful words you have written.
    Please tell Ron I will always remember the time he adjusted my back and it felt like he had opened up and released years of pain.
    I am not sure he will remember it but I do remember. I hope this translation goes peacefully for you and Ron.

  14. Dear Geri and Ron,
    So sorry to hear about “The End of the Road”. As you know and have been teaching over the years, it is the end of the road only in this ego world. We all belong, we all are connected, always. As the Course teaches us: Nothing unreal exists, nothing real can be threatened. Herein lies the peace of God. Love.
    Blessings and Love
    Rainer

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