All Hate is Really Self-hate

No public figures have stirred up more collective anger, hatred and vitriolic emotions than Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Call it acrimony, hostility, loathing, disgust, revulsion or abhorrence – it’s all the same. What may surprise you is that…

The hatred you feel for another is really self- hate

People do not cause our feelings. The most they can do is resonate what is within us. We like people who resonate good feelings and dislike people who resonate bad feelings. And we hate those who resonate – bring to the surface – our dark and ugly feelings.

It is our deepest, darkest, unkind and unloving self we despise, project outward and attack. 

Thoughts cause feelings. Our thoughts about people and events ignite our emotions. Most of us don’t know Hillary or Donald. We only know what we think about them. If we don’t like those thoughts, we don’t like them. In truth, we are rejecting and rebelling against the content of our own mind.

In the case of this election, Trump and Clinton have agitated our deeply hidden and denied animosity. Like the villains in books and movies, we see them as bad guys,  caldrons of corruption, narcissism, and deceit. We lash out against them with ugly words and pictures. Facts that don’t support our perception are ignored. Hillary Clinton, in particular, has been branded corrupt and deceitful, but facts show Donald Trump to be the bigger liar.





Compare factual and false statements of the candidates.





Best sites for checking facts.

That is not to say that Mrs. Clinton is not deceitful. But who isn’t? The average person lies several times a day. And if we don’t lie to others, we lie to ourselves. We put on what has been called ‘the face of innocence’ while disowning our dark side and seeing it in others. We cling to the inflated image of ourselves and our distorted opinion of others even if it means discarding truth and rationality.

When we discount facts and figures that don’t support our beliefs and desires, we make decisions based on emotion, not reason. In the case of elections, those decisions can do irreparable harm not just to ourselves but to our country.

Cultural and ideological intolerance are at the root of most wars. Such intolerance is brewing within our country. As is often the case, it hides behind moral and religious righteousness.

Much that passes as idealism is disguised hatred. Bertrand Russell

There is nothing righteous, positive or constructive about hatred. It breeds separation and conflict. We forfeit inner peace with every unkind thought.

Let me not think that I can find the way to God, if I have hatred in my heart. A Course In Miracles

The price we pay to hate

In his book Why We Hate Rush Dozier explains that hatred has its roots in the most ancient areas of the brain – the amygdala, often called the reptilian brain. Hate is a primitive emotion triggered by fear, negative stereotyping and clashing thought systems. It has been called “the nuclear weapon of the mind.” Not just because of its effects on others. Hate raises blood pressure, suppresses the immune system and releases harmful biochemicals in the body and brain.


Fear breeds hatred, and hatred has the power to destroy everything in its path. Kevyn Aucoin

Our personal, national and international problems are not going away no matter who becomes our next president. But ongoing hatred projected at the government, other religions, and races is going to make things significantly worse. Hatred causes problems, it doesn’t solve them. It leads to alienation, conflict, and violence.

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. Mother Teresa

Obviously, we have preferences in everything we do. So get out and vote for the candidate you prefer. But for the good of the country, and yourself, let the hatred go.


Why You Need to Let Go to Grow

A man was hiking through the forest when he heard a rustling sound. He turned and saw a mountain lion eighty feet behind him. The animal cast hungry eyes upon the hiker and made a threatening growl. The hiker took off at top speed running deeper and deeper into the woods.

He spotted an opening in the trees. Running through it, he went over the edge of a cliff. As he fell, he caught hold of a small tree growing from the side of the mountain. Under his weight, the limbs began to crack. The hiker looked up and saw the lion licking lion-515029_640his chops. He looked down at the bottomless abyss. He knew in moments he’d plummet to his death. There was no place to go, nothing left to do but pray.

He raised his eyes to the sky and cried, “God, if you’re up there, help me. I haven’t been much of a believer, man-1519875_1920but if you’re there, I’m begging you, tell me what to do.”

There was a crack of thunder and then God’s Voice bellowed from the heavens: “Let go, my child.”

The man looked down at the abyss, up at the hungry mountain lion, raised his eyes to the sky once more and yelled, “Is anybody else up there?”

Fear of Falling

We are all hikers through the forest of life. Just when we think we know the territory and feel safe, something appears to push us over the edge, past our comfort zone. The tendency is to grab onto the old and familiar and hold on for dear life. We feel ourselves falling off a cliff and fear there is no place to go except down. But there is another alternative.

“Come to the cliff,” the Papa Bird said to his babies.
“No, no,” they cried. ducks-204332_640“Come to the cliff,” he said.
“We are afraid,” they cried.
“Come to the cliff,” he commanded.
They came. He pushed them. They flew.

Every stage of life requires jumping off a cliff. Whether we fall or fly depends on our willingness to let go of the familiar and enter the unknown. The Law of the Vacuum applies to the mind as well as nature: opposite things cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Love and hate cannot coexist, happiness and sadness, trust and fear, hope and despair, holding on and letting go. We can’t cling to the past, base our identity on former achievements, be bound by the familiar, and be fully alive, learning and growing in the present.

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.  Anais Nin

The Forward Force of Life

Life is growth, and growth requires change. We are changing every day, every hour, every second. Each thought that passes through your mind changes the configuration of the brain and affects your emotional and physical state. Resistance to change is resistance to life, and…


There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin

Resisting the natural changes anriver-1594106_640d stages of life is like trying to hold back a raging river. You’ll drown unless you go with the flow. To grow, you have to be willing to let go of the old and embrace the great unknown that lies ahead.

Courage does not mean that we jump off the cliff without fear. It means we jump in spite of it.

Life will push us forward, whether we like it or not. Whatever our mountain lion may be, whatever pushes us over the edge of the cliff, we should be grateful for it. If it were not for that push, we might never let go, and if we don’t let go, we won’t grow.

Adapted from: Make the Best of the Rest of Your Life