Is Your “I” Blocking Your Vision?

The underlying oneness of all is recognized by quantum physicists, pop stars and gurus alike…

Quantum physics thus reveals a basic oneness of the universe.
Erwin Schrodinger

…the idea of self is an artificial construction. You are, in fact, part of the glorious oneness of the universe.  Russell Brand

All differences in this world are of degree, and not of kind, because oneness is the secret of everything. Swami Vivekananda

Yet we do not experience ourselves as one. We see ourselves as separate from each another, the world and God. The separate self is the I, the me. We cherish and nurture it but it is actually an illusion created to mask our reality. You Are Not Who You Think You Are

Though you may feel that your ego is something great, all-inclusive, you will find it is an illusion. Jiddu Krishnamurti

Since our reality is One, the essence of the illusion must be the  opposite – separation.


To sustain separateness, we strive to stand apart from the crowd, to be different, special. It is as if one ray of the sun pretended to be composed of something other than light and energy.

Specialization is death, the lack of infinite pliability.
Jiddu Krishnamurti

In the act of differentiating ourselves, we lose ourselves. We lose our essence, our power, our Reality. Instead of life and love and creativity flowing freely, everything becomes a struggle. With separation comes conflict, turmoil and hate.

                   ILLUSION                             REALITY                
Separateness                          Oneness
Conflict                                 Harmony
Turmoil                                  Peace
Hate                                       Love


The separate “I” casts a veil over vision and breeds insecurity and insufficiency.  On our own, we are never enough. We can never be sure of ourselves. That is why there is ceaseless striving – to do more, have more, be more.

In ourselves, whether we admit it or not, consciously or unconsciously, there is a state of poverty, an emptiness.
Jiddu Krishnamurti

What is it, this separate “I”, the me?

It is a composition of physical and psychological attributes, a bank of memories that compose one’s story. As the memories change, the stories change. As the body and brain and experiences change, personalities change. Self-images change. Everything changes except that which is the very essence of life within – the One Unified Self that is the source and substance of our being.

seascape-1031583_640We cannot experience Love and the fullness of life we long for until we stop identifying with the image, the limited, personal  “I.” As we disengage from that, a higher state of consciousness emerges. We realize that we are but different waves on one ocean.

You and I are all as much continuous with the physical universe as a wave is continuous with the ocean. – Alan Watts

When our vision expands and we recognize that we are indeed one with all that is, then compassion and kindness for all are easy. All that we give is given to ourSelf. Love your neighbor as yourself takes on new meaning. Our neighbor is our Self. Not in form, not in behavior or intellect. But in the deepest core of our being, we are of one light and spirit. 

Our egos and intellects will never agree. They are designed to maintain the separation. But we can have a common experience. Compassion, kindness, forgiveness elevate and unify us. 

To go from a sense of separation to an experience of oneness, stop focusing on differences. See past the form to the part of each of us that is the same – the part that comes from Love and yearns to return to it.

No man is an island,family-333064_640
Entire of itself 
Every man is a piece of the continent,

A part of the main.
John Donne


I am one with all that is.

Love is my identity and reality.

The Light that I am illumines my way.

The Indian word Namaste is a greeting that has several interpretations. They mean essentially the same thing. Choose one of the following or create your own with similar words:aura-884270_640

I behold the Light in you.

I bow to the God within you.

The Spirit within me salutes the Spirit in you.

Practice saying Namaste (or Peace if you prefer) aloud or to yourself whenever you see another person. Hold that thought in your mind and you will look with honor upon your fellow being. It will help you see past the frame to the universal essence of Light and Love we all share.



Who is the Boss of You?

If you ever attempted to discipline someone else’s child, you probably heard these words, “You are not the boss of me!” Children know who their boss is, and they can’t wait to grow up and be their own boss. But does that day ever come? There are always others to answer to, things that must be done, obligations to fulfill.

sports-161767_640A man proudly showed his four-year-old son the company car he had received along with his promotion.  “Wow,” the boy said, “that’s a really nice car. Where did you get it?” “My boss bought it for me.” His son’s eyes widened, “Mommy bought you a car???”

There is only one area where we can truly, always be our own boss: governing our minds – our thoughts, emotions, reactions. Unfortunately, we often forfeit that power to beliefs, perceptions, prejudices we acquired as children.

It is not just DNA we receive from our parents

Prejudiced people raise prejudiced children. Immoral people teach immorality. We mimic parental behavior and parrot their opinions. Perceptions about ourselves, life and other people can be traced back to things we heard and experienced during childhood —  before the ability to analyze and rationalize was fully developed.

Young brains are fertile ground; ideas take root quickly and grow. Little children believe exactly what they are told: that they are bad, stupid, clumsy, smart, loveable or any other message they repeatedly receive. They draw shame-799098_640conclusions and form perceptions based on what they hear and see, and the way they are treated. Those conclusions may be faulty or downright wrong but they dig deep grooves in the neural pathways of the brain and establish patterns of thought and behavior. They dictate perception and color self-image.

Repeated messages like “Good girls/boys don’t do that” distort perception of what it means to be female or male. A boy who is repeatedly told and/or punished for crying learns to fear his own feelings and repress them. A girl who is repeatedly rebuked or punished for assertive behavior may grow up afraid to express herself.  I say ‘repeatedly’ because correction when warranted isn’t going to damage a child nor is the occasional misguidance of parents who are primarily loving and supportive.

Until we are rational, thinking, self- determining adults, patterns woven in the subconscious from the past affect our thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Certain triggers will activate childish reactions.

Roger grew up with what he called a “must mother.” In a woman-975339_640harsh, demanding manner, she constantly told him what he must do. “You must look after your little brother. You must eat all your dinner. You must clean your room. You must go to bed now.”

“She ran the household like a drill sergeant,” Roger said. “There was no love, not that I recall. Just orders.”

When the word ‘must’ was spoken, Roger heard his mother’s voice and saw her face. The emotions and reactions of a child took over. If his wife or a co-worker used the word ‘must,’ the anger Roger felt toward his mother resurfaced and got projected onto that person. He rebelled and didn’t do what was asked, or purposely messed up the task.

It was Roger’s inner child who was now the drill sergeant, dictating his feelings and behavior. And it was having a detrimental effect on his life. Once Roger realized what was happening, he was able to…

  1. focus on healing the pain and anger he was carrying from childhood.
  2. react appropriately as an adult in the present.

Look closely at your beliefs and values. Which ones are the result of adult thinking and choices, and which ones are carry-overs from childhood?

1. What negative messages did you repeatedly receive as a child? Consider messages received verbally, by the treatment  you received, by observing your parents, and the home environment.

EXAMPLE: Talking back is unacceptable.

2. How is that message affecting you now?

EXAMPLE: I don’t voice my opinion or stand up for myself.

I think it’s very important that you make your own decision about what you are. Therefore you’re responsible for your actions, so you don’t blame other people.
Prince William

Who is the boss of you? The past or the present? An adult or a child? 

No more than we would let a little child drive our car, should we allow the mind of a child drive our decisions, draw our self-image and dictate our emotions and behavior. Isn’t it time to say to our inner child…You are not the boss of me! (1)Partially excerpted from Healing Feelings: Release Emotional Pain, Change Your Past and Future

Gratitude NOW Can Change You and Your Life

 Gratitude is the fastest way to…
change your attitude
increase happiness
change perception
pour cool water on boiling emotions
reduce negativity, resentment and pain.

People who DAILY count or record their blessings…
feel better about their lives
have less illness and depression
have closer family ties
are more resilient, optimistic and  enthusiastic.

Gratitude is not just a passing thought or feeling ormoney-256319_640 merely expressing appreciation. If I drop something and a stranger picks it up and hands it to me, I appreciate the act of courtesy and say thank you. But if a person chases me down the street to return my credit card, I am more than appreciative. I am enriched by this person’s goodness, filled with joy, a sense of peace and goodwill. The world is seen in a brighter light. I have a great attitude!


True gratitude is laced with wonder and joy. Most people sunset-928883_640enjoy a beautiful sunset, but how often do we feel the wonder of the little girl who ran in the house one evening and told her mother, “I didn’t think purple went with orange until I saw the sunset God just made!”

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. G.K. Chesterton

GRATITUTE = GREAT ATTITUDEGratitude is like an electrical light switch. It turns on light and erases darkness. With gratitude we can switch perception from problem to opportunity, from resistance to acceptance, from ending to beginning, from sickness to healing, from anger to forgiveness. 

DO IT NOW! Find just one thing to feel truly grateful for in the midst of any situation and it is so powerful that it will overcome other emotions.

If you want to see a fast and positive change in your life, inject your days with abundant doses of positive praise. Don’t just think thankfulness. Express it in words, song, laughter, action. DO IT NOW. Before falling asleep, review all the good the day held. Before getting out of bed in the morning, spend at least 30 seconds giving thanks for the day to come and all the potential good it holds. Every day, write down different things you’re grateful for. Develop the habit of being thankful every day, in every situation including problems and mistakes. 

Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. You have the problem because you need the gift. Richard Bach

Gratitude expressed anywhere – to health, work, relationships – is like a lubricant that increases the flow of good into and through those areas. Your body loves to receive gratitude. Move your awareness through eGRATITUDEach area of your body as you say, “Thank you!” Feel the cells tingle and respond with renewed energy. DO IT NOW. Express gratitude all day long. Thank the day, the sun or the rain, thank your car, thank your home, thank the people in your life.

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings. William Arthur Ward

Gratitude expressed to other people is an instant elixir that soothes hurts feelings, raises dashed hopes and heals conflict. A sincere thank you says, “I see you, value and appreciate you.” Expressing gratitude to others is an act of kindness. A connection is made at the soul level and both giver and receiver are blessed.

If the only prayer you say in your whole life is “Thank you,” 
that would suffice.
 Meister Eckhart


Feeling down, anxious, angry? Focus on what you’re grateful for, what’s going right. Gratitude alters biochemistry, elevates mood, shifts perception. DO IT NOW. Smile, laugh, think happy thoughts, feel grateful for 20 seconds and you’ll change your emotional vibration.

Gratitude is fulfilling – fills us full – of joy, appreciation and love. The more we’re thankful, the more we realize how much we have to be thankful for. When you approach anything with gratitude you project a great attitude and it responds to in kind.

The great medical missionary Albert Schweitzer said…
Those who thank God much are truly wealthy. So our inner happiness depends not on what we experience but on the degree of our gratitude to God, whatever the experience.


Adapted from:
Make the Best of the Rest of Your Life